


My most darkest night

by HelenofTroy



Series: Grimm fanfiction -Nadalind Darkest Night part 1 [1]
Category: Grimm (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-13
Updated: 2016-03-13
Packaged: 2018-05-26 11:19:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6236614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HelenofTroy/pseuds/HelenofTroy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The consequences of Adalind Schade powers coming back ...</p>
<p>-What left in me of clean, of good? To what extent do I know?-Adalind think between tears, all the table, the glasses, even the rice left in her plate are wet from her crying.<br/>Adalind had taken a decision: she won´t back to hurt to anyone anymore, not even the Hexenbiest in her will do it.<br/>One upon a time one thing called love, and for her the love now has one only name: Nick Burkhardt. But her Hexenbiest had hurt to him in the past. All his life had been ruined by her: he had lost to Juliette, his mother..., even almost his aunt, Adalind can not avoid blame herself while she has taken a decision, not thinking that sometimes the remedy is worse than the disease, while Nick´s heart is bleeding.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My most darkest night

**Author's Note:**

> The most darkest night of Nick Burkhardt is gone.

Nick was walking by the cold bunker, shaking the head, saying in high voice:

-But why, why? -his green eyes looked to his and Adalind´s bed unmade...  
-Three weeks ago of this, Monroe -Nick said to his friend, while Monroe was setting the table, the food that Rosalee had prepared for both.

-Listen, Nick, i´m pretty sure that she will come back. It just that...-Monroe began preparing two coffees at the Nick´s Nexpresso´s machine. But as always Nick did not let him end his speech. 

-No, she won´t. I know her very well. And this is preciselly what is killing me, Monroe-Nick shouted in his corner, looking pathetically by the lights that were reflected in his window, while the yellow glasses were stained of golden reflectins in that evening of April-she´s not the same woman that she used to be. Even with the hexenbiest alive in her again. She´s not the same, she couldn´t....-Nick had turned a moment, and his voice trailed off.

Monroe looked to his friend, with sadness. After all what they had lived together, and yet he does not know how support to Nick in those tormented moments. Since that Adalind had left with Kelly, does not wanting hurt him, she just had ruined Nick in the most longest way of this word. But was a blame without strenght, was not a blame really.  
She just had made that for protect Nick. 

"Hopefully Rosalee would be here, she knows how talk to him now. I can not stand it, i can not see how Nick is sinking himself. But i can not blame Adalind at all for try give to him a better life without magic, but i could blame him in change because he did not tell to her his real feelings for her on time. How i could console a man who will not be comforted, and should not, by his pride?" .  
Nevertheless, Monroe was being bited by the bitterness of can not help avoid to his friend. 

-Look Nick, we´ve been talking of this several times-Monroe approached to Nick, but the Grimm, stubborn did not turn around-Nick refused the Monroe´s friend hand from his shoulder, with a despot shrug.

_You are gonna to hear me like to you this or not-Monroe shouted in pain, by Nick´s rejection-is your fault, Nick. Is my duty say that to you because if not nobody will do that, why did not tell her your feelings before ? -Monroe was lost in a tangle of feelings in this situation between Nick and Adalind from where was difficult to scape-you shoulded say to her how much you love her. why did not you said to her anything, man? 

-Because i did not want lose her, Monroe. I have sacrificed a lot in my life don´t you think?-said Nick turning back suddenly and screaming.  
His eyes, two lakes green. 

Monroe woged feeling how his own heart was about to jump from his chest. "Poor Nick"...he was thinking....

But the nick that was in froint his eyes was an unknown man. His pain was different from his pain when he had lost to Juliette while her amnesia, induced by Adalind, precisely, the woman who now had broken his hert in a thousand of pieces, in a clumsy try of protect him. 

Before, Nick when had been in pain by juliette he was nothing, but a man sad and desperate. He did not shave, not eating well when Juliette´s spell and when she had lost her memory . But now he did. Now what Nick was ruined was his soul. His eyes were a desolation, were a sky in blood, not even Black they were when Nick looked to Monroe. His words when he was working sounded with an unknow voice as Hank so bitter he was , so soft that seemed that Nick was about to lost it, for not talk about the callings of Hank to Monroe saying how he was negligent in his work, how he very ofter turned off the computer suddenly or hited to some suspectous like a mad man, like blaming him from his broken heart.  
Nick´s manners were just a reflection of his soul. he had hunger and the food was far, far away. 

-Oh don´t worry, i won´t kill you-said the Grimm while he hitted the wall with strenght, repeating why, why, why?.....and Monroe did can not make anything for consolate him. Just stay there, stay there....

 

In the West of Seattle, Adalind´s phone sounded, while she was smiling, and ending the lubally that was making sleep to her baby boy, Kelly, already with 8 months. But he faked does not hear it . 

"he´s such perfect" -Adalind thought with pride, while she strocked his dark golden hair. But very soon the sadness touch her heart too...that little noise, so straight was not her noise, but Nick´s one.  
The little Nick made a small gurgling, before let his little fats arms around his head.  
-Little Grimm -Adalind whispered with warm to his baby, while she kissed him in his front and covered him with his news sheets. 

After that, Adalind breathed deeply, and went out of the small pier house that she had rented . 

Adalind took a glass of white wine, and she sat comfortably on the porch, swinging in the small hanging chair. 

-Seattle-she said-oh Thanks Sean-she said while she looked while through the long port was entering a ship. The views of her new home were amzing. that little piece of sea for herself alone....with the money that Sean had given to her.  
Ah Sean! Sean had been her best friend, after Rosalee. The father of her daughter Diana, the same man who she loved once, now was like her brother. The two goods things of Adalind in this moment from her life with the Hexenbiest alive in her again were the son that Nick, the man who she loved had given to her and the Renard´s support. Adalind now was able of pull the best of Sean out and he had made the same with her. 

Was like if almost Sean had learnt the lesson by his mistake with Diana and now he would try make the best for Adalind and the son of his first men in his police station, who was almost like a son for him, Nick Burkhardt. 

-You are commiting a mistake-Renard had said to her, when Adalind asked to him help for leave Portland with Kelly, while the child was crying in her arms. Adalind was in that moment in Sean´s door holding a new baby in her arms, asking to him help, money , like she had been with Diana once. 

-Come , Come on, let's go inside. You'll freeze-Renard had said, while Adalind was inside. On her left hand, two bags. 

-What is it, are you leaving really, Adalind? -Renard took Kelly and left him in his expencive sofa. Always rich with his expencive jacket, Renard always great , but empty for her of feelings. 

Now Adalind was remembering in Seattle every single moment....while the expencive wine was warming up her mouth. The sadness almost drowns her, when she remembered the last thing that Sean had said to her, before let her go , scaping from the love of her life, Nick Burkhardt . 

-You are wrong, Adalind. Though your powers are back, Nick has the right of listen this, of choose. Is his son too, as Diana is mine. And i know he loves you, Adalind, you can not denny to him the possibility of choice you. you will ruin his life and problably to the Kelly´s too. We are what we are, Adalind. Nobody will change this ever, but we can love and we can try let the others love us as well-Sean had said, while she had insisted to him "promise that you won´t let Nick know where i´m promise...." . Almost a prayer , her mother , Catherine would feel shame of her. 

Adalind had wrested to Sean the promisse hardly. Sean Renard had a deep sense of the honour with all the family matters, and with his promises, for that he was dangerous. Maybe she shoudn´t search the help in him. He will tell that to Nick...Nick was a king of sacred figure for Sean, the son that he never had. 

But Adalind was trapped, she could find no way out. And if she´d take Nick the truth? ....And if Nick would reject to her and to his son, Kelly?.....

No, no way. Leave him was the only solution. Adalind´s heart was yet broken by Diana´s absence, and now her powers coming back, and with them all the remorses about all what she had made to Nick in the past: she had ruined his life, his love by Juliette, almost had killed to his best friend, Hank searching the key, and to his Aunt Marie....no, she had seen the Nick´s eyes when he had told her how Juliette was "dead" before know that she was not , that she was living under the cold assasin Eve as only indentity with Meisner. His pain, his ruin, a man so young , so strong, a warrior...yes, she did not have the right of destroy his life, his career, his heart again. He would find someday a woman who would give to him a good family, a future, some woman so great and worthy of Nick, that she´d envy her. An human being like him, that was what Nick needed. At last Adalind could give that to him. An happy life. And as Nick never had said to her "i love you" that fact made her to feel more relieved with herself . When Nick had slept with her, had been by lust...as such men before him. Sean, Eric, Hank under her spell...almost Lane once. But at same time the Grimm was over her almost like a man in love too...how she could know his true feelings by her ? ....Impossible to know, that way was the only right thing that she had done in her whole life by someone, let him free for find his own happiness, far of her . Leting Nick go she was giving to him a new life. He woudn´t have to live in the cold Bunker like a criminal anymore. He could move on to a real house this time, and with the time, meet to another Juliette, a good girl, with a good heart who would make Nick so happy....ah that pain! His soul was pierced, as her mind, this thought was painful, but was fear. For that she was really. Have born Hexenbiest, that was her only sin. 

The face of Adalind was not a sad face, was almost as a white and perfect canvas, but spotted with run oil. Her skin was burned of such crying...this time her powers had came to her in a unexpected way. The Hexenbiest was not enhancing her Wesen nature, her ambition and devouring her heart with the evilness, but in the opposite side, had filled her Wesen soul of humanity, and preciselly for that she was doomed.  
Because now she was realizing how much wounds she had caused to Nick in the past. 

-Nick -she said, with her open eyes, while the Invisible Hexenbiest was maybe yet more in love with the Grimm than herself when in an invisible way touched her face, without Woge. and she let scape this word from her mouth in the distance....until let it fly to Porltand while inside the home the Kelly´s crying started and she entered in the house, leting break in the floor the glass of wine. The phone was sounding. Again.   
The baby was awake. Adalind took the baby, and looked with fear the phone. She did not answer the calling...And if was Nick?...No, no.....

the fear was her worst enemie. 

In Portland, Nick threw his mobile to the ground- "Dammit" 

Monroe looked to him and asked:

-Are you sure that this is the right number?  
-Yes, is a number of Seattle- i founded that in Sean´s computer . 

-Nick! -Monroe can not hide a smile anymore....-what the fuck...? 

-Ah, was Eric, he ....haked the Captain´s Account-Nick said- i need find her, Monroe-Nick said, taking his phone back again.  
-Does the inspector Burkhardt does not know that that's a federal crime? -Monroe was in shock...until what point Nick would reach for find Adalind? 

This was not the desperate guy who had hited his door in the past tormented by Juliette´s rejection to him, was a man in love desperate for find to his family. 

-You are madly in love with Adalind, Nick-Monroe said with a studied calm and authoritative tone which shocked to the Grimm-with her powers back or not, you love that woman. 

Nick looked to Monroe while drunk another beer, and he nodded.  
-Yes i do-he said openly-and for that i can not forgive what she has made to me-Nick said-why she did not trust in me , why she sunk me in that way, man. Adalind´s absence for me represent...my most darkest night, i can not stand in this house without her and my son, i can not follow here if she does not come back, Monroe-Nick said, typing the number again in his phone-is impossible. 

-In that way you would definite her absence Nick? -the voice of Monroe stoped Nick while a moment.  
-Yes, my pain until now....you know, with Juliette, with my mum....was healed by Adalind and Kelly, Monroe. And now she´s leaving me without an explanation, without a word? What is this?-The Grimm stood and pointed to the bed with an hate and a passionate anger that Monroe got very soon- Adalind arrives to my life, when all was in flames, ruined, when i had lost all was dear for me in the life, my true love, my mother, and she get stand me, she gave to me a family again, a son, and she make born the hope in my soul, she make my heart beat again, and steal my soul in this same bed, turning me in a river of ...love and desperation by her, and what? Suddenly all what we built together dissapear because of what? Because her powers are back? I don´t think so, and i won´t give her up. She must explain me why. 

-Nick, listen to me. the love is something very complicated, man . Maybe....maybe you should respect her decisions, Nick? 

-What? she has showed respect to me, leaving our home in broad daylight, asking Help to Who to the Captain? -Nick said, with hate, while Monroe looked to him. 

-You shoulded let her know your feelings, Nick is my duty say to you that-Monroe said. 

-Yes i know, Monroe, but that was not such easy. Every time that you or another was remembering to me who she was before to be my Adalind, my present woman...i couldn´t even think with calm, the fear took me and i was scared of lose her...of lost what we want. Because i want her...i want to be with my son, wait....there is line again. She´s on Seattle-said Nick. 

-What? In Seattle? -but the Monroe´s question was never unswered. 

Adalind answered to the phone this time. 

-Yeah?  
-Adalind, Adalind are you? -the Nick´s voice hardly could hide his desperation, this broke up the Adalind´s heart in pieces. The first natural Adalind´s reaction was the phone away from his mouth, his eyes misted with tears. It was him....

-Adalind, please answer-the hoarse Nick´s voice let an empty in her heart....that was not normal. that pain....

-Adalind please...don´t do not hang up, I have to talk to you-Nick said. 

-How did you find me, Nick ? Was Sean?-her voice was almost a whisper in the phone. Nick closed his eyes when he heard her. after such long time....Adalind was there. 

-Please continue talking -Nick said, his eyes opened to close again....Nick remembered the kisses that he had given to her, her voice so soft was just an alive memory from the touch of her skin..under him. 

-what? i don´t have anything to tell you Nick, is better in that way. Kelly is ok. He´s like you more everyday-Adalind said, and he regreeted from her words in a minute-i mean he´s...

-Oh my boy-Nick said....  
Monroe felt how the pain was piercing all the Nick´s rational mind, now...would come the prayers...Monroe thought and was not wrong. 

-Adalind please, come back, please come back with me. i can not stand in this house without you. i don´t care if you...-Nick´s words were almost a prayer. The Grimm who was supplicating to a Witch by love, "this measures of the life....this moments...are so weird"-thought Monroe....

-I can not talk with you anymore, Nick. I´m sorry but is for the best. Someday you will find a new woman, someday you...you can not live with me, Nick and i won´t give to you the chance of regret your options in the life. We won´t be a drag for you, as once i said to you. I can not denny to you the true happiness. 

-Oh let that trash out-Nick screamed suddenly-you are what i want. And you know it. I don´t care if you are an hexenbiest again or the same Devil. I love you, and you not even let me know what was going wrong, you ran when you shoulded trust in me, after all we had and now you are telling me that i must search another woman? you know how i love you, and how i will love you forever and Kelly , Adalind, Adalind? -the Nick´s mood was like a roller coaster....

Adalind had hung up the phone. 

-She had hung, Monroe-he said....

-Normal Nick, she is making all what she thin is right by once. You can not blame her for that. She know all the terribles things that the Hexenbiest has brought to your life, man, she is just trying to protect you in some strange way. She is blaming herself by the past, Nick. that´s what Rosalee thinks too. 

-I won´t let her that she decide for me. Find another woman. oh of course....is not such easy, Monroe. 

Nick took his bag, and started to take his clothes from his closet. 

-Wait, wait, What are you going to do? -Monroe said-Nick stop, she does not want see you.  
-I don´t care what she wants or not, Monroe. She is with my child outside and i want them, both of them, i don´t care what they´re or how powers my son will have someday or Adalind is recovering , i love who they´re with their entire being, and they´re good Monroe. Adalind won´t be the same Hexenbiest that she was once, with this decision of want keep me far is just confirming me her change. She is trying make me happy. The old Adalind when tried make me happy? 

-Well that´s is true, Nick. she at last won´t try kill you anymore, that for sure-the black good humour of Monroe was one of his best qualities, always lowering Nick´s anxiety. 

Nick that night was fliying until Seattle, and he did not stop of remember every moment...every passionate new intimacy...her touching, her words to him, charming him, before he went out to Europe.  
-I love you i don´t care if this is a mistake.....

after, his own lost in her, the smell from her blondes hair, that Nick admired always...her little body under her own lust by her...

"you are mine, how do you dare to leave me, damn you" -Nick thought, in his mind a fight between the desire, the torment and the pain was happening. And Kelly, that craddle empty in his bunker...why she took his boy off, his boy that was a mix of both, enemies, lovers, friends?? they were nothing, and all at same time, not even a marriage could compite with Nick and Adalind´s link. So deeply they met each other....being enemies while such time.. by that such information that they shared, such knowledge of their own natures. They´re meant to follow together. 

Adalind never thought that the next morning a Grimm would come back to hunt her. 

While Kelly was in his arms, the man who every day brought to her fisth, Vicent, the old sailor was itching her door.

The man was looking this time to the sea, when Adalind opened the door, watching how the man was looking s the port, her back covered by her dark coat, as always.  
-Ah Vicent i...-when she saw how Nick Burkhardt turned around , she tried close the door, with strenght, but her powers were not enought. 

Kelly started to cry, while his father puts a foot in the door. Adalind closed her eyes and focused the door, giving some steps back, but the Grimm was too much strong by her.  
-No, no not in this way this time-Nick said with calm, while he entered in the house-Adalind, you always have been of combative nature, but this time we ´re not in the forest you won´t need this. Please, Adalind...-Nick closed the door behind him, while Adalind, with her furrowed brow sat on the couch, calming Kelly.

-Why are you here Nick? -she said-i said that i did not want see you again-she said not looking at him, but Nick knelt beside her. He took Kelly and holded him in his arms, while his tears covered his face. 

-This is your Excuse for Leave me? Your powers coming back, Adalind? For that have you taken My only son of me and went away ? Is that your fear is more greater than my feelings for you? Because you know very well that i love you. You are so….coward, not even are ready to give us an opportunity for fight against yourself is it is neccesary?  
I never had said that to you, before, but i love you. Despite all what you are, despite all what i am.. After all what we had buildt and now you are gonna to leave me?  
-I can not explain this not even to myself Nick. But we can not make this to you . Not again. I can not erase what i´m . i can not force to you to stay with me for Kelly. His worst part problably will be my worst part, and i can not force you to accept that part who stole all the best in your life.  
-Stop, stop…you are saying all those things by Juliette, isn´t it? But she´s not here, this is not about Juliette, this is about us, about Kelly don´t you understand that?….-Nick shouted, his voice broken by the crying- you are all what i always wanted. 

-I know and i love you but i can´t….- His son, the son that she had brought from his fire…and now she was stealing of him. If Nick believed that he had felt the pain before, he had been wrong all those years. As Stefania had said in her prophecy to him, his crying was inconsolable. 

\- i only want see you happy and i never could support see you rejecting our son, Nick, what you make with me does not care , just him is imporant-Nick left Kelly on his craddle, the child was almost asleep. 

-Kelly is mine, as you are, Adalind-Nick said, and he pounced on her, searching his mouth, but she stoped him.  
-No, no....please don´t do this. My decision is taken-she said.

-And the mine too-Nick said, kissing her with such strenght that Adalind just can let her go, while the Grimm driven by an insatiable thirst carried to her until her bed, and kissed her lips while she let her hand go through the big dark blue anorak, while she closed her eyes.  
And let the Grimm kiss her eyes, her neck, bite softly her desired lips, while he lifted her and stripped her nightgown, like if she was a doll, without will; and between the Nick´s torment for had lost her , and his lust...Nick lost her rational mind, and covered the Adalind´s body one time more, forcing her to scream while his wet whispers for her were "i love you, i love you, i love you" .... turning that lustful night in a kind of ritual, where the Hexenbiest tried of wrinkle her china sky, but was in vain, because the Grimm´s touch hypnotized her, being so slave from his body as Adalind and her humanity was, while outside the the waves pounded the old boat of Vicent, the sailor friend of Adalind, who had seen how her husband surely had came for her, watching how Nick was entering in the house taking the baby boy. 

-Thanks to God finally her husband has come by her. A woman so cute ; good shoudn´t to be so alone in this place with a child like that. Was a matter of time, that He would come, because a woman like that always will have a "He" -said the old man, while his fishing rod was lost in the waters.  
Vicent was always of good mood, always telling stories and legends from the sea when he was in the Army to her grandaughters, and tales from the sea that he read everyday in the library, in his retirement center. But every night, his passion, the Fishing was there .


End file.
